Friday, June 15, 2007

Busy Times

Well, I made a good start on this blog but haven't had time to add to it for awhile.

I have been busy making baby items, doing machine embroidery, making jewelry for a sale that occurred two weeks ago, left town for a few days of relaxation, CLEANING THE ABODE, taking care of a sick dog who is finally getting well (I think), and trying to make time for a little Bible study on my own to go along with some church studies that are occurring. If I didn't have to work for a meager living I could get a lot more done!

We are anxiously awaiting Olivia Grace's birth, which is due in a few weeks. Everything seems to be going well, other than the usual complaints from the mom. I am excited to see Olivia's little round face!

I spend a lot of time creating. It has been on my mind a lot lately about how much time I do spend on things that are not directly connected to the things of God. I could spend all my time just making things. The things are pretty, sometimes beautiful and everyone enjoys looking at them, using them, wearing them. Being creative is such a big part of my life and personality that if I go for long periods of time not creating that I can actually feel sick and become nervous or feel disconnected. There are not many craft related things that I do not know how to do and there are not many creative activities that I have not participated in or have the tools to perform. You can accumulate a lot of things over 35 years.

I have recently been trying to pare down the "things" that I have related to these creative activities. It is difficult for me to do this and I have finally realized that it is because I know that I will eventually need everything I have (if I live long enough to complete all the projects I have in my head) and feel it is wasteful to get rid of things only to have to acquire them again, especially if the funds might not be available later. Also, I think because I didn't have many "things" growing up that it is difficult to let them go AND before too long I will no longer work at a paid job and all those "things" can be turned into income. I currently don't acquire new things like I used to. It has to have a really important purpose to make the "get" list. And I have started using up what I have, although that is a long process. It is so nice to be able to use an existing item instead of shopping for something new. I have also been TRYING to release some items.

I have been wondering lately why God has given me the ideas, the abilities and the drive to do these things. I feel I should be using these talents he has given but at the same time I wonder about whether I am wasting my time on vain pursuits when I should be doing something else. I didn't go to school to learn any of them and I find that I usually have an inborn ability to be creative in all areas with very little instruction and really believe that some people are just born with creativity. I have started looking for ways to use my talents for God but so far all I have done is make things for people as gifts and give sewing classes for free. I make a lot of jewelry that takes a lot of time and I have started selling it. That is really beneficial to no one, other that being a pleasing embellishment and giving me more money to buy supplies. This is really a subject that has been on my mind so much lately. I don't feel like I am doing anything productive for God. I desire to find a way to use these talents for God but at the same time wonder if that is just a way to satisfy my own selfish need to continue in the same creative mode. I can't imagine not being in that mode, I feel like I would no longer be me. I simply can not imagine it.

Well, that is it for now.